Thursday, November 8, 2007

Gift or Curse?

Living in the gay life is so weird. I think of it very much like they portray a vampire’s life in the movies. They are cursed with being a vampire yet they must live in a mortal world, concealing the thruth about who they are, what they do. They float between these two truths..the truth of their world, and the truth of the mortal world. Sometimes the lines between these two worlds blurs and it makes me laugh. So many of my straight friends think that I make things up about what we do and experience and how  often some from the straight world try and cross over to ours. This happened again tonight and I can tell that I have matured. I laughed to myself when I recognized the signs and chose not to act on what used to be second nature to me. I didn’t give in. I took the guy home, despite his subtle “offering”. I feel good about my decision to drop him off with his wife and child rather than do be a vehichle for his explorations in my world. These things happen often, alot more often than one would like to think. I used to get caught up in it and watched as it sucked away from myself. Everytime, a little bit more til almost nothing was left. But, now, I sit here confident that I can refuse if I so chose so…and that is my choice.

Posted by DemetriusJ at 05:23:38 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Friday, November 2, 2007

General Update

So I guess people write blogs for different reasons. Some may be upset which inspires them to write while, I guess, some people use this as a form to work through things in their life. Either way, they are very theraputic. Now, I had having an affair, writing blogs  and posting them on my Myspace account but I stopped some time ago. I like the annonimity of using this site vs. Myspace. There are things I like to write and thoughts I have that I would not necessarily want everyone who knew me to know I had. So I guess you can expect to see more posts from me on this site. Besides, the whole Myspace thing has gotten way out of control. Its so funny how the positioning of your top 8 can ruin friendships and cause so much strife…Its really silly. So, anyway, since my last post I have ssttled in my house and love it to pieces. It’s looking good and it feels like home to me..And most of all, its MINE, ALL MINE!! (Insert evil laugh). For the most part, I have worked through the major issues dealing with my ex and there have been a few ex’s since him as well…None really on a serious note like the first though. So here I sit with Bunny the chihuahua and Luci (my grey kitty). We are about to head to bed since I work in 9 hours. I am still at the Wildhorse and have (since my last post in 95) successully demoted myself from Banquet Captain to Trainer to Server. It sounds crazy but I am making more money, working less hours PLUS I can truly say I leave it all behind (when I chose to) when I leave work. Things are looking up. Well, I should be wrting more soon so keep checking back.
Posted by DemetriusJ at 05:46:08 | Permalink | No Comments »