My So Called Gay Black Southern Life

What is it with so called heterosexual men? My friends always joke with me about my pheremones and what they seem to do to guys who think they are straight. Now, I don’t necessarily believe that you can “convert” and straight guy into a bi or gay one but that shit seems to happen to me alot. They always drop the lame lilne of “you just make me feel at ease” or some other lame crap like that. Like I am supposed to feel all fluttery in my chest and drop to my knees..Well, can’t lie, it usually does go something like that…hehehe..but not always so don’t too bad of me. For the past few weeks this guy at work has really been trying to “work” me…in a most obvious way. He is a chef and I part of my job requires that I check in with the chefs on various orders. Lately when I go down to speak to him he will throw out some random sexual comment about the “special sauce” he has for me or bend over in front of me and talk about his “assets”. I usually joke back with him b/c I am and have always been a flirty kind of guy. Last night he must have been feeling extra gutsy or just plain horny. I called for the Exec. Chef on radio but the guy answered saying the Chef was gone and that “he was the only one I’ve got”. I asked him my question and he asked where I was in the building. About 30 minutes later he pops up in the office that I was in. He starts talking and thats when I tell him about Fetus..He said, “Well how about you take care of some 24 year old too”…I tried to act cool but inside my head was crazy!!! My face got hot and turned red and ears were on FIRE!!! Could not believe this was happening at work with me looking and smelling like buffet food..Nasty!!! I played off what he said and he then asks if there was a camera in the room and takes his pants down and shows me his new holiday boxers..I freaked, heart beating faster every minute. All the time thinking, “What should I do?” “What about Fetus?”, “What about work, getting fired, etc..” Crazy mad rushes everywhere. I did end up being good and telling him I had to run and check on my people. He led the way out of the office but before opening the door he bent over and stuck his but against my “Danger Zone” and I jumped back..Not gonna lie, I was totally turned on but overall that would not have been worth everything that could have happened..Geez, gotta love my pheremones….

Is that the title of a Kenny Chesney song? Kinda scary that I would know that. Anyway, I am officially not on vacation anymore, went back to work yesterday. To be honest, I didn’t know if my truck would let me park in the lot for work or just drive itself on by. I should have chosen the latter..the minute I walked in to the place the smell of pork and beer filled the air. And after hours of hanging Christmas decorations in the freezing rain and kissing VVVIP ass my shackles were opened and I was set free for the next two days. Thank God! Maybe now I can really pound the pavement and find a quick replacement. Before work the Fetus called me to see if I’d go out to a local bar with him, his friend and her mother. Weird combo, if you ask me. I decided to go and quickly changed after work and met him down there. Now I hate to sound like some older timer but when I was his age that particular club was THE place to go but the last year or so has been rough on the ole girl…With the addition of a new “gay district” in Nashville, which consists of 1 bookstore and 3 clubs, the attendance at my old stompin’ grounds has more than dwindled. Even so, it still had that “something” that made me stand in line every weekend in college just to get in. So we sat down and watched a pretty decent drag show..I only knew two of the faces on the stage (one of which used to run lights for the show) while the rest were new. Not a bad show overall..The mom and daughter combo drank in excess while the fetus and I shot the shit. I ended up taking him home..Odd story there: He lives next door to a house that I wanted to buy a few years back..How weird..Anyways, not so sure why I am up so early, going back to bed…will write later..