My So Called Gay Black Southern Life

I love that line..It’s from a Jill Scott song. She is incredible. If you have not heard her you should rush out to get her CDs. As usual, lots of things have gone on since the last post two weeks ago. First off, my two white sisters came down to Nashville for a reunion of sorts and we got a  chance to go out on the town for a night of fun. We had great dinner, danced and laughed all night. Those are times that I miss having with them. Things with the religious boy have since gone sour. The more I got to know him, the more I felt that he was using his “ultra-religiousness” as some sort of gimmick. Needless to say I found that very unattractive and we have not spoken in nearly two weeks since the realization. I did give him a courtesy call the other day but he had not called me back so I am assuming that whole thing is over for him as well. Oh well, you live and learn. I went out on a date this past Friday with some guy that I met on AOL. That really needs to stop because like an old friend of mine said…”It’s on sale for a reason.” Not saying that all people online are “For Sale” but just something to be said for how fast many of the online things go. Our first date was not even a full week after our first online meeting and he was already emailing me everyday before the date and planning our future together. Kind of freaks me out when people do that. I am a busy guy with lots of obligations to other friends, work and family and need to date someone who is equally as  busy, ya know..Someone who is not hanging on my every breathe and whim. I like a challenge too and although nice, this guy was not in any way challenging to me. Much more of friend material. So, here I am..trying and dodge his instant messages and emails from every angle. Kind of crazy, I think..Anyways, getting ready for work here at 3. Should be fairly easy tonight, just one private party for 88 or 90. Mayeb I’ll go out afterwards to see what’s going on at the bars for Halloween. Something spooky, I am sure..I’ll keep you posted.

So, I am sitting here enjoying my Saturday free from work and updating my blog. I thought I was supposed to get an email when there were comments posted to my blog, but oh well, no biggie. I ran across two comments to my blog. One was very nice from a girl (Jeni) who thinks that I sound interesting! Wow, that’s kind of cool. Yay!! The next comment was from someone named “Gods Angel”. Now, by looking at the person’s handle, I could tell that we would probably not be seeing eye to eye anytime soon. This person goes on to tell me how disgusted they are with me and how I need God in my life and how I need to repent and leave my homosexual life…How funny! You know, I can comfortably say that at age 28 I am finally OK with my life. There were times in my life that I was ashamed or guilty and wanted to “change” myself (as if I could) and cried myself to sleep. There comes a point in a person’s life (at least for me) that you realize that you deal with the hand that life deals you. One of the “cards” dealt to me in life was the gay card. It is my job to handle it as best as one can..I chose to embrace that part of me and not hide it to make others feel comfortable. I am by no means a defiant, in-your-face kind of guy but I am what I am, ya know? And by now means do I base my entire life around my sexuality, although it is somewhat of a major thing to most people…Anway, just thought I’d get that off my chest and hope that any young gay person who may read this realize that their life (as a whole) is something to be celebrated entirely. Be proud of every freckle, crazy thought, stretch mark and pimple! Those are parts of the things that make us human. God, I sound like radical person with pciket signs..Oh well..Be good and enjoy the day! I know I plan to!

Man, I am so pissed..I just wrote this whole narrative about my trip to MS. to see family that I hadn’t seen in 12 years and the damned computer locked up and its gone! Oh well, here’s the gist..hadn’t been in a while..was scared, loved it, met a few new people and came home…LOL, not to downgrade what a great time I had but I cannot bear to write all of that down again…So..before I was locked up I was going to tell you about the updates with all of these men in my life. Let’s start with my cute churchy-type gay friend who I freaked out on my bday night. To make along story short, he is a great, great person and we have been hanging out for a while now. We finally did make out before I left for MS. and talked about it and were cool with what happened. Since then we have made out once more and still go out for our regular kareoke sessions. He just got a new job so we don’t get to see much of each other but it is ok because work is picking up for me and keeping me busy. Also, while out of town, my rommie/ex-bf of nearly 5 yrs what robbed and beaten with gun by some random dude outside of a shady gay bar in Nashville. At least that’s what his story has been. He has been very shady about the details when it comes to this attack, almost like he was hiding something. He even went back to the same club the next night after the attack. No doubt, he was beaten by something. His stiches and swollen face proved that but I think there is more to the story than he is letting on. And to top it off, last night at work a girl who knows a guy that works at the bar said he heard it was his ex bf that attacked him. That meant..me!?!?!?!? Crazy…So I have yet to get down to the bottom of all of this. Very interesting. Anyway, I have to go workout…be back soon..